Valkyrie Kat

~Sirius~

It is so difficult to explain to a 15 year old what took us decades to understand and what we still can't handle. Regulus sniffing stops.

“Is Sirius treating you right, Kreacher? You know you can tell me the truth.”

I look down awaiting the final judgement from my old elf nanny. Kreacher doesn't answer immediately. He looks embarrassed to be asked such a question.

“You heard your master's order. Tell the truth!” I say hoarsely.

The elf smiles sheepishly. “Master Sirius is trying to be a good master. He has come to his senses. Like I told my mistress even unruly brats like him grow up one day.”

I pull his ears and he throw his arms around me. All right, my elf calls me an unruly brat, my friend says 'Mutt'. Whatever, he managed to cheer Reggie up and make even Severus laugh again.

The next question is equally awkward. “What happened to mother and father?”

“Father died just before you finished Hogwarts. Of a natural cause as far as I know.” I look at Kreacher who merely nods. “Mother died in 1986. I don't know how.”

“You don't know? Didn't you even bother to come to their funerals?”

“I had no hope to believe I was welcome, when father died and on mother's death I was …. indisposed.”

“Hope you had fun with Potter!”

“Regulus, that's enough. Sirius was...” Severus sounds exasperated with both of us. He looks at me, but I look away. “Sirius was sent to Azkaban in 1981 for having betrayed the Potters to the Dark Lord.”

“BOLLOCKS! What idiot believed that?”

I snigger, when Severus replies: “I did.”

“You have been in good company.” I try to laugh, but there's still some bitterness. If only one of my friends had reacted like Regulus just had! “I think we've established a while ago that we were both.... the biggest fools who managed to get away alive and free. Regulus, you were much smarter than we were and figured out that great wizards are only out for themselves and their own noble plans, when we both were still to blind to see.”

“Can someone please explain to me in short what happened? The Dark Lord promised to bring back the old times when magic was respected and to teach us spells beyond our imagination. True wizards should be judged by their abilities, not buy their way to the highest positions. That's what got you hooked, Severus. Tradition and family values should be renewed like grandfather Arcturus taught us. I don't understand.”

I look at Severus who gestures for me to start.

“All right, I'll try to put it together. Severus, Kreacher, please interrupt me, if I go wrong. You joined the Dark Lord,” Severus raises his eyebrows at my use of the title. I shrug; it's easier to talk to Regulus in his own terms than to start another pointless discussion about saying Voldemort. “ in summer 1978. I guess along with your older room mates. “ Severus nods in confirmation. “At the same time James, Lily and I joined the Order of the Phoenix. You had still one year at Hogwarts, so I guess you didn't really get involved in real action before the next year.” Severus confirms again and I continue to recall the events as I understood them from Harry's tale. Regulus listens without interrupting me until I tell him that Voldemort used Kreacher to test his potion and left him to die in the cave.

“He left Kreacher to die? But that's against everything we believed in! Kreacher is a family elf!”

“One more thing 'the Dark Lord knew not' or did not care about.” I leave out the details about the Inferi. He doesn't need to know. It doesn't matter anyway, because I think Kreacher's protective spells prevented the curse to work.

“He never found out what I had done? Mother and Kreacher have been save all those years?”

“Yes, your death protected them.” Severus throws in. “We knew you were dead, but none of us seriously suspected that you turned against the Dark Lord. Your family was safe.”

“Shouldn't you continue the tale? I only know it second hand.”

Severus shakes his head. “You are the one raised on stories, continue. I step in, when you make it too much of a fairy tale.”

“The following spring a prophecy was made which announced the coming of 'the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord'. Part of it was overheard and reported.”

“Sirius, I said no fairy tales. I overheard the prophecy and reported it to my master.” Severus smiles at my attempt to downplay his responsibility. “ I was promised a generous reward for my service the safety of Lily Evans, now Potter.”

“You were still on about that silly Muddleborn? Even after she married Potter? Biggest fools is the understatement of the century to describe you two.”

“Reggie, hold it for a minute.” I'm trying to make sense of what Severus just said. “Severus, you asked for Lily's life just after reporting the prophecy? Why on earth didn't you tell Dumbledore, when he called you disgusting? You had no reason to care about James' safety or even think that he was in any danger except the one he got himself in at this point of time. Harry wasn't yet born. You still cared about a friend who had dropped you years ago. That's not disgusting; that's bloody loyal!”

Severus stares at me as if he lost the ability to understand plain English and Regulus taps his quill on the parchment.

“Sev was absolutely mad about Evans, not one clear thought in his mind when it came to her. He was even worse than you about Potter, if that was possible. You were both pathetic!“

“Regulus don't talk about....! Severus and I cry out simultaneously and stop at the same time, noticing that we're just confirming what he said.

“So grown up, impressing, both of you!”

“May I continue with the tale or do you want to pick on us a bit more?”

Regulus makes a generous gesture for me to carry on.

“ The prophecy had announced the birth of Voldemort's, the Dark Lord's” I correct myself as Reggie flinches. “adversary for the end of coming July. In the following months nothing important happened except the usual Muggle- and Muggle-born baiting got slightly worse. Lily and Alice Longbottom were expecting, but we had no idea that this would change everything. Dumbledore to whom the prophecy was made never mentioned it to anyone in the Order. It was only after the two boys were born, one on the 30^th of July and one on the 31^th that he warned the parents of an increased danger. We didn't take that warning too seriously. Honestly we all had been on the Death Eaters' list for years. The Longbottoms were Aurors and James and I had done one or two things to annoy your Dark Lord and all of us had told him where to stick it, when he asked us to join.” Severus throws me a sidewards glance. “Oh, come on, you didn't really think that they had not tried to win the 'Pureblood elite' of our generation? Lucius made more than one attempt to convince us and once even your master gave us a speech about all the wonderful opportunities which would await us, if we joined him. Reggie, I have a pretty good idea what he promised you. It might have tempted me, if I believed one word.”

Severus looks slightly hurt. Had they promised him revenge on his school enemies, while secretly trying to recruit us? Regulus however smiles and the next words he scribbles shock Severus even more.

“You hardly could resist the temptation of learning some more advanced magic as long as it wasn't too Dark for your taste. Remember what I once told you? Severus wasn't more of a Dark Wizard than you are.”

“Kick me I'm a Dark Wizard.” Severus growls.

“You looked like one. I didn't. Think whatever you want of me, James never got involved in the Dark Arts. He hated them! Luckily he never suspected or recognized them easily. I've told you I'm qualified for the job you offered, haven't I?”

“You're as much of a hypocrite as Dumbledore.”

I glare back at him. “No, I'm not. It just happened. I read everything available on my parents' book shelves before Hogwarts. Our father encouraged us. He always laughed about what he called 'Ridiculous Restriction of Underage Magic'. I never used the Dark Arts. There was no need. Though I guess the idiots from the Ministry might disagree about where to draw the line.”

Severus shakes his head. “Spoiled, arrogant Purebloods!”

I grin sheepishly. “I think it's your turn to continue. I couldn't figure out when exactly you turned spy for Dumbledore or what happened next.”

Severus obliges and tells his part of the story as quickly as possible. It's still hard for him to recall those events. As hard as it's for me to remember how clueless we were kept by Dumbledore about what was going on.

“.... when Lily died to protect Harry some kind of Ancient Magic was evoked and the Avada Kedavra cast to kill Harry backfired. The Dark Lord's body died. Harry Potter survived marked. Everyone believed Sirius had been the Potters' Secret Keeper and he was arrested the following day, while he tried to catch the real traitor, Peter Pettigrew. We thought.... we hoped that was the end of it, but Dumbledore insisted it wasn't and he made me promise to protect Lily's son, when the Dark Lord returned. He finally did in 1995 and Potter managed to defeat him two years ago.”

Some of the things he said are new to me and help me to make sense of details I haven't understood so far. I long to ask a few questions, but Reggie already looks confused.

“The Dark Lord dead, blood traitors and Mudbloods in charge? Are you going to do something about it?”

“Regulus, the other way round was worse and we both need...” Severus smiles sardonically. “ to be careful that they do not withdraw our clearance.”

“Very careful indeed.” I concur smugly. “I think I'm quite content for a start to be a pain in their back. That and the happy thought that Voldemort and Dumbledore rotate in their graves that we are alive.”